This Article appeared in the October 1989 issue of Playboy Magazine.

Australian Ninja ~~ The Man and the Myth

Following recent changes in both corporate policies and personal priorities in his life, many questions have arisen concerning The Australian Ninja. Both his many fans and his corporate adversaries have voiced their concerns, predictions and suspicions regarding his true motives. Playboy magazine approached Australia's greatest export since Foster's Beer to do an interview with the suddenly elusive public figure. The Australian Ninja not only agreed but offered to fly Playboy's interviewer down to Sidney Australia so that he could be interviewed without disrupting his appearance at the opening of a new orphanage there.

 

Playboy: This is your first Interview since the death of Cosmic Wolf. Before that time you were easily the most accessible and public member of the Pantheon. Why has that changed

A.Ninja: Well, first I'd like to say that Cos's death was deeply unsettling for me. For a while I went into a sort of private seclusion--a period of adjustment and mourning. During this time, I took stock of my life and re-prioritized some of my major concerns.

Playboy: And it was during this time that you decided to Officially "disband" the Pantheon?

A.Ninja: The Pantheon wasn't ever, really, a "super-hero group." What we were, was four guys who worked well as a team. We just happened to have these powers is all. I guess we shared a certain kinship because we had these abilities that were above and beyond those of the "normal" Populace.

Because of these abilities, we had responsibilities to the world and to each other. What made us such a strong team is the fact that we all looked out for one another. As long as we were all together, looking out for each other, the "magic" was there that bound us together and we somehow knew that we'd all pull through it. It was all or nothing -- either we'd all come out together or none of us would.

Let's face it, try to find some other explanation for how a Yank, a Canuck, a POME* and an Aussie like me could end up working so well together. Now, with Cos gone, I just don't know if we'd be able to pull off that old magic like before.

Playboy: What about the disappearances of both Speck and Midnight?

A.Ninja: Well, not knowing if they're even still alive made the decision to disband a right bit easier.

Playboy: What I mean, and what I'm sure our readers want to know , is what's being done to locate these two?

A. Ninja: I'm not too worried about Midnight -- he can take care of himself. Like a cat, he always seems to land on his feet. No matter what life throws at him, he'll come through it bloodied but no bowed.

Playboy: What about Speck?

A.Ninja: Speck can take care of himself too, of course, but the British authorities have informed me of certain pieces of information which leads me to believe that Speck has become a victim of foul play.

Playboy: And what's being done about this?

A.Ninja: The authorities have asked me not to divulge any information or details which might endanger their investigations. But, rest assured, I personally have operatives in the field undertaking their investigation. Everything possible is being done to track down either Speck or those responsible for his disappearance.

Playboy: What about the theft of Comic Wolf's body?

A.Ninja: I don't want to talk about this subject. I do, though, want to send a personal message to the culprits responsible for this outrage to the dignity and honor of one of this world's greatest heroes: "Whoever you are, Wherever you are, we will find you. Be afraid. Be very, very afraid."

Playboy: "Ahem." Yes, well, during the abduction I understand that much of your Bio-Tech Facilities in Hamilton, Ontario, were destroyed as part of a diversionary tactic. How has this affected Bio-Tech operations?

A.Ninja: Reconstruction is coming along apace. Things should be pretty much back to normal there sometime late next year. Until then, much of their operations have been moved to smaller satellite facilities. The larger and more delicate of the research projects will be relocated to the main Chem-Tech facilities in Great Britain until they can be moved to our new space station as planned for next July.

Playboy: And how is the new space station coming?

A.Ninja: "Flamin' A" We're actually two weeks ahead of schedule and should have no trouble meeting our July 1st start-up date.

Playboy: This is quite an impressive undertaking. Don't you ever think you've bitten off just a little bit more than you can handle with this project?

A.Ninja: Naaa... This project has been in the planning stages for well over two years. We just kept it so hush-hush that sometimes, we weren't even sure of what was going on ourselves.

Playboy: But is such a station even economically feasible?

A.Ninja: We Originally needed to build it in order to do the type of research that just can't be done under normal Earth conditions. Then someone, I think it was Speck, figured that if we leased out the bulk of it to others (competing) research firms and foreign powers that have neither the technology or the capital liquidity to build such a facility themselves, we could pay the whole thing off within 10 years.

Playboy: And you really think that the demand will be so strong that your competitors will actually go for this?

A.Ninja: Are you kidding? We're fully leased up for the next thirty years!

Playboy: It certainly seems that you have the situation well in hand. This brings to mind another of the new ventures you've undertaken recently. Would you care to Elaborate?

A.Ninja: Ah, so, you must be talking about BPI...

Playboy: Exactly.

A.Ninja: Well, with the death of Cosmic Wolf , I realized that we weren't always providing the best of role models. What with the recent rise in the number of "para-normal" or "meta-human" individuals, there are a lot of normal, everyday people who are suddenly discovering that they possess these "powers" and who aren't sure of what to do with them. Right now , with the role model that The Pantheon provided, many people are trying to become "super-heroes" and, more often than not, are getting themseleves injured or even killed .

I'm hoping that, with Cosmic Wolf's death, people will begin to realize that it takes more than fancy powers to make a hero and that even a "super-hero" is still a man.

Playboy: And where does BPI come into all of this?

A.Ninja: What we're planing with BPI, is to provide a free service to people who suddenly discover that they possess paranormal abilities or superhuman powers . The purpose of this institute ( the "Bio-Tech Paranormal Institute") is to teach these individuals how to cope with and control their new-found abilities. In this way, we can enable them to continue with their lives in the most "normal" manner possible.

Playboy: What if they don't want to be just "normal?"

A.Ninja: We're also currently negotiating terms of referral with a new placement service called "SuperTemps" which specializes in paranormal individuals.

Playboy: In what way?

A.Ninja: For those individuals who wish to take full advantage of their abilities, SuperTemps places them in lucrative positions that fully exploit each unique individuals special abilities or needs. These positions can range from high-profile jobs in the entertainment field to low-key jobs in the service industries. They can even manage those individuals who insist on high risk adventurous careers.

Playboy: What else can you tell me about this organization?

A.Ninja: Not much. I suggest you interview their PR firm if you want to get detailed information on their operations.

Playboy: My Last question has to do with your recent press conference when you announced that you wouldn't be making any more concert tours or personal apperances. This has led to unrest amongst your millions of fans everywhere and they say that in Australia there's even been isolated cases of rioting in the streets. Exactaly what propted you to make such an unpopluar decision?

A.Ninja: I'd like to say just to give my manager another ulcer but the real reason I'm afraid, is much more serious than that. You see, there used to be four of us, originally, to oversee the operations of our corporate holdings. Now it's just don to me. What with this space-thingy coming to a head I just can't spare the time. I still make time for my charitable obligations. Because of what's been happening in Australia , I especially made sure that I didn't miss this trip back home.

But, other than special occasions, I simply don't have the time anymore to plan any concert tours in the near future. Then again, when things do ease up around here, the world had better be ready for the come-back tour of all time. If the Stones can do it, you can be sure I can do it a damn sight better.

Playboy: Well thank you for sharing your valuable time here with us today and I'm sure our readers truly appreciate these detailed insights into your personal life.

A.Ninja: Right. Sure, anytime.

Our official interview ended there but the Australian Ninja went on to give a special preview performance of his soon-to-released "Osaka Girl" and give our interviewer some very private instruction on piloting a jet -- including some very non-standard cockpit maneuvers. As always, this hero's hero left us with a smile on his face and a hearty "G'day Mate."

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* Prisoner of Mother England

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