The Incredible Short Cute Funny Furry Purple Mutant Alien Animal From Outer Space

History:

Not so long ago, but in a galaxy far, far away, there lived a race of beings so absorbed in having a good time, they never bothered to give themselves a name.

This race had never amounted to much in the grand universal scheme of things and would never have even earned a footnote in the "Pan-Galactic Guide to Alien Intelligence" if it had not been for one outstanding, exemplary specimen of this race...

(right now is where you'd usually find our hero's name in big bold type to identify him/her/it as our lead protagonist. But, as I said, we're talking about a race that never even bothered to name their entire species, let alone individuals),

So what did this one individual do that ever amounted to anything? Why he did the unthinkable (for his race) and actually developed what we here on earth might call drive and initiative.

Not being satisfied with the everyday diversions available on his planet, this individual crept onto the Zorn outpost on his planet and, by playing around with the controls, managed to lift off in one of the Zorn's intergalactic cruisers and become hopelessly lost in the highways and byways of deep space.

Note: The Zorn would have wiped out this annoying race indigenous to their furthest outpost if they could only figure out how. This race was an incredibly hardy species and the only methods that the Zorn could think of that would get rid of them would also make the planet uninhabitable for the Zorn as well.

The creature might have died there had he not crashed into the much larger craft of an earthman who was traveling the universe in search of challenges worthy of his vast Intellect (having left Earth on a much smaller craft of his own design many years before).

This earthman's name was Mason Pendricks and, in this alien being, he found a challenge to end all challenges. Over the course of seven years, Mason attempted to teach this creature the basics of Reading, Writing and Arithmetics.

Unfortunately, whereas Mason's intellect may have been adequate to the task, his patience (and his supply of Reese's Pieces) was not.

Mason had discovered that the only way to work around this creatures attention span (or lack thereof) was through bribery. The creature had an obsessive compulsion for "Reese's Pieces" candies and the only way to get the creature to sit still long enough for instruction was to hold out Reese's Pieces as a reward.

This worked out quite well until Mason was down to his last package of Reese's Pieces.

As the creature become more annoying in his demands for more treats, Mason had no alternative but to get rid of the creature.

But, not being a cruel man, Mason equipped the creature with a Hyper-Light '57 Buick programmed with a one-way course for Earth and sent the creature to Earth on an "errand" to bring back more Reese's Pieces.

Just to be on the safe side, though, Mason also equipped the craft with a self-destruct mechanism programmed to activate once the creature had landed and disembarked (well, he didn't want anyone to find a way to send him back, now did he?!?)

And so, one of the most infuriating and annoying species on the face of the universe was introduced to the planet Earth.

Thus were born the legends of The Short Cute Funny Furry Purple Mutant Alien Animal From Outer Space "And Wait Till You See My Sub-title!")

Meeting up with four metahuman individuals ("Comet II", "Midnight", "The Cosmic Ranger" and "The Incredible Speck") this annoying little creature (who they called "Shorty", for short) almost became one of the founding members of The Pantheon had not fate, and a two-hundred-year-old vengeful spirit, stepped in to tragically cut short "Shorty's" heroic career (and his life).

Gaming Details:

"Shorty's" main abilities were his incredible invulnerability to almost any form of harm (Zorn Quote: "What does it take to get rid of these little bastards?!?") and his incredible "Cuteness Attack" (Aaawww...) which forces anyone within range to want to pet him, cuddle him, and feed him Reese's Pieces.

Oh, and let us not forget his infallible ability to detect Reese's Pieces anywhere within a one hundred foot radius no matter how well they are hidden or concealed.

"Shorty's" disabilities include the following:

Those who are able to resist his incredible "Cuteness Attack" can easily manipulate him with the promise of Reese's Pieces. "Shorty" will do almost anything to get Reese's Pieces.

"Shorly" does not like getting wet and will not, under any circumstances willingly swim or jump into water. He also will avoid going out in the rain if at all possible.

"Shorty's" normally cheery disposition becomes cranky and ornery when wet and this does not help the attitudes of those around him who are already none too happy with him as, when wet, his fur smells roughly akin to six-month-old Limburger cheese.

The one sensitive place on "Shorty's" body is his shiny black cute-as-a-button nose. A sharp rap on the nose is quite painful to "Shorty" and is the only effective way of keeping any of his race in line.

Individuals who try this, however, should be made aware that repeated blows to the nose has been known to drive these creatures into a bloodthirsty berserker rage.

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